A few years ago, Will and I had moved down to South Florida and I was working at Starbucks. I graduated college in 2008. I always thought that after you graduated college you immediately get a job, and start your new life as an independent adult.It took me 3 years to get an intro job after graduating college. I applied to hundreds of places and just nothing was working out. I was getting discouraged, thinking I could have saved myself and my parents thousands of dollars if I was going to work at Starbucks all my life.
Everything seemed to work out for my husband. He's worry-free, and has always known what his dreams were. During this time of me trying to find a job, he was chasing his dreams. I was jealous of him, but also super excited at the same time. I started to get depressed, and sort of became a crazy person. I'm OCD and a control freak, and for three years I did my best to control this crazy part of my life. Applying and working really hard to try and get a job. I would pray not asking God for a job, but more asking Him, "Why? why? why?!!!!"
I started feeling like I had no purpose. I felt lost, and completely lonely. For three years I felt this way constantly... annoyed, frustrated, and alone.
One day it hit me. I had never prayed and told God that no matter what the outcome I would always love Him. So I fell to my knees, sobbing my eyes out, in my tiny little apartment... I cried out to Jesus and I said, "Jesus, no matter what happens in my life I'll always love You. Jesus, I'll always love you!"
I wasted three years feeling sorry for myself and worrying about my life. For three years, I was frustrated and carried a burden that Christ had never asked me to bare.
When I prayed that night, I felt complete peace. I wasn't worried at all. And wouldnt' you know, I got offered a job one week later?!?!!
I'm not sure what you're doing through, but you aren't meant to bare it on your own. Whatever it is Jesus is still worthy of your praise and love. Let Him know, praise Him in this tough time, and see how He takes away that burden and pain and showers you with peace.