Hello. It's Amber here. I've been really having to work on my attitude lately. Especially when it comes to the babies... I'm getting impatient from all of the lack of sleep. *sigh* Some days I'm soo done with being a mom. Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids and love them to death... but sometimes I just want to go back to college, drive around in my tiny civic with my friends, and just be carefee, not a worry in the world. I want my freedom back, I want to do what I WANT TO DO! Is that so much to ask?!
Yesterday at church the very last song really spoke to me. The bridge of the song says this, "My life is not my own, to You I belong, I give myself, I give myself to you". This song completely smacked me across the face. Why do I even think this life is my own? Why am I soo selfish? I was completely overwhelmed in that moment, asking God to take my bad attitude away and that I was sorry. Lord, I give myself to you!
Right now, in this season of my life, it's all about these two babies. They rely on me and Will for everything! For whatever reason, God gave us twins, I belong to the King, and when I'm serving my kids 24/7 ... without a single ounce of a break in site (or sleep)... I'm serving Jesus! I'm serving my Lord. What an honor. Why wouldn't I be happy at all times about that?
The Bible says in 1 John 4:19, that we love, because Christ first loved us. Jesus sacrificed it all for me... His unselfish love showered over me! This dirty, selfish rag.... if He can do that for me, I certainly can serve my children, my own flesh in blood, with overwhelming love, because Jesus first loved us!
I do believe that we are going to have bad days as moms, and we are going to be frustrated, and discouraged (and that's okay)... but I hope that I can remember what Jesus did for me more often throughout the day, so that I can continue this really awesome and difficult job as a mom with courage and perseverance.