The "Supermom" Curse

As a mother, it's hard not to take your job seriously. I mean, we're raisingd the next generation here! It's a huge, over-whelming, all-consuming job being a mother. Some of us hold full and part time careers outside of our homes, some of us are single, some of us are widowed, some have husbands in active duty, and some are stay-at-home mothers. Yet, no matter what situation a mother finds herself in, today's typical mom in America is required to be "Supermom".

It's just understood that as a culture of American mothers we are to do the following tasks without assistance and without complaint:

Make, birth, and feed babies Make meals Pay bills Grocery shop Laundry Chauffeur Make our homes beautiful Clean Decorate Make appointments Find missing items Dress the children Tie shoes Find missing shoe Buckle car seats Pack diaper bag Remember sippy cups Make lists Keep a calendar Teach lessons/help with homework Make cookies, pies, cakes Wipe noses Wipe bums Kiss ouchies Discipline Referee Make husband happy (whatever that entails) :) Make deadlines Maintain friendships Phone calls Birthday party planner Negotiator Volunteer Moms group member Play date coordinator Library card holder Book fee payer Gardener Bible reader Ice cream taker-outer Vacation planner And coordinator of family fun

All of these things must also be done with an average of 4-5 hours of sleep a night and without any sharing of responsibilities.

The problem with being "Supermom" is that it's completely unhealthy. Mothers in our culture tend to be the most isolated and underappreciated, but it's expected that we press on.

Supermom's tend to experience more bouts of depression than mothers who have help or delegate. So it's no wonder that feelings of being overwhelmed and over stretched come in and take hold.

Being a supermom is not good for your family. You can't give what you don't have and if you're working on an empty tank, you're not going to be doing your best. You can't be what your husband needs, you can't give 100% at your job, you can't love your kids efficiently if you are depressed, bitter, and exhausted. You aren't meant to bare a burden this large, this heavy, and this long. Motherhood is a journey that brings joy, sorrow, and every emotion in between....you don't want to hike this journey with your bag overpacked. You won't make it very far before the inevitable occurs: you'll fall, you'll be crushed under the weight of the load you bare, and you'll need help but since you've decided to take this journey solo, there's no one there to pick you up and help you carry your overloaded pack.

You aren't meant to be Supermom. You're supposed to be, first and foremost, a daughter of the King. Jesus bought you with a price and has offered to carry your burdens time and time again. Talk to Him, spend time with Him, listen to Him, let Him fill you each morning with His perfect immeasurable grace and peace. Next, if you are married, you are to be invaluable to your husband. Love him by being his best friend, his biggest cheerleader, and caring wife. Encourage, uplift, serve, and love your husband unselfishly. After you have done those things, pour the love you've received from Your Heavenly Father and your earthly partner into your children. Be gracious, guide, and enjoy watching them grow into Gods perfect plan. Everything else in our life will turn to rubble. Prioritize activities, bills, relationships outside of the home, and projects as needed. Love on others outside of your home in the form of volunteer work but if it becomes to much, say NO! We must learn to say NO as mothers and women. Our calendars aren't supposed to look like a football playbook. Take time for you. THIS IS NOT SELFISH! I'm speaking to myself here most of all because I ALWAYS struggle with this one. Do this as often as you need it or just be prepared for a massive mommy meltdown. I usually only take time for myself after the meltdown occurs so take a lesson from me and if you see yourself headed to meltdown city, make a plan to detour.

Here's to not being a Supermom anymore! Here's to being productive, loved, well cared for, amazingly effective women of God...always hoping, always persevering, always filled with grace.

But it would still be kinda nice to have 8 arms...:)

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-Alicia