14 For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. Hebrews 13:14 So for a while now, my husband and I have felt unsettled in our modest home in suburbia. We are so willing to trade our 1/2 acre piece of earth for multiple acres away from the bustle of a neighborhood in the midst of what is commonly known as "NASCAR Country".
We've dreamed big dreams for a future homestead, a room totally dedicated to our childrens education, and acres for our children to explore and maybe tend to a few farm animals. Right now we feel squished and stuck like jelly in between two very peanut-buttery slices of bread. We long to move, long to be settled, long for our dream to begin.
And it's all up to Him.
And He reminds me that no matter where my tiny claim of this wretched earth is, that I will never be and never should feel "settled".
I guess what my heart really longs for is no more struggle, unending fellowship with Him, never having to say "goodbye" again, never feeling hurt or pain, enjoying my children without the curse of sin, and loving my husband unselfishly in a Paradise I have yet to encounter.
So, I suppose it will never matter how much I will attempt at creating my ideal down here because my heart will forever be discontent. I really am an alien here. I really have only temporary anything to look forward to in this life.
What matters is that I remain unsettled enough in my heart towards those in my world. To speak up for injustice, to lovingly care for everyone in my path, to share my grateful, albeit, still sinful heart with my world. His world. His people. His heart.
I am but a vessel. This is but a shell. My heart will remain unsettled until that final day.
Supreme Sanctuary by Akiane