Why you {shouldn't} follow your heart/believe in yourself

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When God made me, He made me a dreamer. Sometimes, I would dream to a fault. Constantly feeling like an Alice trapped in my own Wonderland. Other times, I would make healthy plans and mentally paint on the vast canvas of what I thought my life should be. As a child, I would obsessively rewatch what most would consider the most magical, classic Disney movie ever made, Cinderella. I would identify with the way she dreamed, the way she cared, the way she knew there was something incredible in her future. I still love her even to this day and have an almost 3 year old daughter equally in love with the most famous princess in all literature.

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But living in Fantasyland isn't all it's cracked up to be because life is still swirling on around you, almost incessantly beating you over your head to quickly come back to reality. If stuck here, your Fantasyland will turn into the Land of "I can't get no satisfaction" and will be more horrifying than the Britney Spears remake of the original song.

If I'm not careful, I can let my mind wander and let my dreams carry me past reality and into a realm of selfishness. And if I followed my wretched heart during these moments, discontent and a sense of being unsettled creeps in.

And then that horrible word begins to jump into my every thought sentence: just.

"You're just a mom." "You just cooked, cleaned, and played referree and chauffeur all day." "You just aren't as ambitious, confident, and intelligent as she is."

I have lots of dreams, and some of you do too. Sometimes God gives us those dreams, some are attainable, and others need to be squashed. If I acted on every dream I have in the near to immediate future, I would be doing so at the expense of my family and at the command of my selfish heart.

Sometimes our dreams aren't meant to come true. Sometimes they are, but the present [time] doesn't line up with the dream. Don't feel unsettled and anxious to "get things going" faster when the dream isn't meant to come true right now.

Instead, give your dream back to God. Don't follow and chase and hunt down and end up killing your dream in the process. Give the desire, the hope, the timing of the dream back to God. Allow Him to give it back to you when the time is right.

And certainly don't follow your heart. Following ones heart in a literal and extreme fashion leads to destruction. God knows the human heart better than we do and loved reminding us in Scripture just how corrupt, black, and deceitful it really is. Following your heart makes life about yourself. It makes you focus on you..."what can I get out of life...out of someone else...out if this or that situation."

I know, as mothers, we can sometimes easily look around and feel inferior. Inferior because we may stay at home all day. Inferior because we may not dress, have money, or feel as beautiful as another woman who is clearly out in the world accomplishing things that matter.

If you're a mom, and you have big dreams like I do, be thankful for those dreams. Give them back to God. Don't attempt to mesh "bad timing" for a "quick result" in hopes of making your own dream come true. Remain patient. Allow God to use you where you are now and allow Him to prepare you for the process of receiving that dream. And trust His heart, not your own, and be satisfied...even if He crushes your own dream. God always always always knows what's best for us. Trust Him especially in those "dreamy"/"follow your heart" moments you may have.

Follow His heart and live happily ever after.

Love, Alicia