My apology: I've taken this pregnancy for granted.

20140612-142344-51824256.jpg I'm currently almost 33 weeks pregnant with our sixth child (we've had one early miscarriage back in 2007). With all of the moving craziness and the fact that we're still one of the most fertile couples I know of, I have taken this pregnancy for granted.

And I'm pretty ashamed of it.

I'm ashamed because I know there are women out there that God has closed their wombs for one reason or another that we may never understand why. I'm ashamed because daily I know about 50000 unborn lives are snuffed out in this horrid world. I'm ashamed because while I preach the beauty of welcoming God's eternal blessings (ie.,children), I have barely given much mind to the impending arrival of this blessing.

I imagine I'm not the only one out there that has taken a pregnancy for granted. I doubt I'm the special case where after having borne more than double the children the average American couple has, that it just isn't too surprising that "she's pregnant. again.".

So, until this child comes out of the womb, my prayer will be that God won't ever let me get off with being calloused to the miracle of life within. This may very well be my last pregnancy, and then what shall I do, as I look back and realized I missed the joy of carrying this child?!! God has every right to close the womb, take any of my children home to heaven before he takes me, and then I would feel regret for not fully enjoying the lives He's so graciously loaned to me to care for. He is so gracious. So so so gracious.

So this is my apology to you, my child, and most of all, my God. From now on, may I not take this life for granted.

May we be ever mindful of the sacredness and true miracle that carrying a child is. May we never get used to it. May we always be humbled and feel ever loved when God fills our womb with His child.

Love, Alicia