I'll admit it. Sometimes, I get really jealous of other moms and their "special talents" or superpowers, as I'd like to refer them as. Like the mom whose house looks like Pinterest is seeping from every orifice...yea, I'm jealous of you and your mad crafting skills. But more so, I'm jealous of the free time you have to make all of your "pins" on your hundreds of "boards" come to fruition.
OR, the mom who wears trendy "in season" clothing and shoes. Hair, perfectly coiffed, accessories chosen with the utmost amount of thoughtfulness, and the secretly disguised diaper bag that really looks like a designer $500 handbag. I'm jealous you can pull off putting yourself together before each outing, I'm also jealous at how you can manage not to smell like mom who has a baby. You know, that perfect blend of both spit-up and "I haven't showered in 72 hours"?!
I'm also jealous of the mom that has that picture perfect garden. Forget green thumb, some moms are like the Jolly Green Giants of gardening. Their thumbs ooze green. And their favorite past-time is to snap daily Instagrams of their adorable children harvesting their harvests. (As if I needed to be further reminded that I have yet to feed my child a vegetable today or anything that didn't come from a package for that matter.)
And, finally, the mom who has that talent that lends a monetary pick-me-up to the bank account ledger. I too, am jealous of you. That creative, seemingly effortless, thing you do that momentarily distracts you from motherhood. That thing you're passionate about that brings money down from the heavens, I wish I had one of those. I've tried before. I have. And, well, I wasn't successful...
...and I'm not successful at a great many things. (all of the above, included).
But I am pretty good at being jealous, and this is what my children (and YOU) don't need me to be.
But, then again, my children also don't need me to be perfectly put together. They don't seem to care that I wear the same maxi skirt two days in a row. They also don't care that my hairdo of choice is a high bun.
They don't care that I don't currently have something spectacular that I do to give us extra money.
They don't care that our house doesn't look like a page out of 'Real Simple' magazine or like my friend's house who has the most amazing eye for hanging family picture collages. (which, I might add, the pictures are flawless and beautifully display a collaborative style I could only hope to have come through if we were to attempt a family portrait).
No, I realize that what I should want my children (and you) to see in me, is none of those things.
Quite simply, what I should want...actually, what we all should want (mamas) is our children to see in us who they want to be/be with someday.
Our daughters should look to us as the example of what they would like to become. Which is an extreme amount of pressure for us to live with.
"Do I love like Christ does?" "Am I pouring out mercy upon others?" "Do I live my life overflowing with grace and do I speak the truth boldly?" "Am I a fraud or do I live the values I hold dear in my heart?" "Do I make my daughters proud?" "Am I a gracious wife and good listener when my family needs a listening ear?"
Being a great cook, looking put-together before I emerge from my room every morning, and having a "success" measured by how many ways I can multi-task and still manage to fill up my bank account, isn't what my daughters should find important in me.
May I be the woman, albeit fallen and very much broken at times, that they can call a hero. A woman that they can't imagine living without. A woman that they would be proud to call their best friend someday as an adult.
Our sons should measure all potential mates up to a standard they set by watching their mother. If we desire our sons to choose a mate that mirrors Christ, respects human life, and would live sacrificially towards her family, then we must be the example. It starts with us.
Are our hearts more attractive than our bodies? Will our sons choose outward beauty before the radiant beauty that can come from a pure heart? If our sons had to choose a mate now, would we be worried about whom he would choose?
Truth is, we can't be any of these things for our children if we remain focused on what we are not. We all have our jealousies. We all struggle with this sin in some regard. It is, after all, the one sin that marries with pride and produces a truly devastating cocktail. We usually drink it in, most of the time, on a daily basis, and then hope we can "talk" our children into becoming all that God wants.
They must see it. Encounter it. Visualize it. And when we fail, we must admit it. We must be the kind of women that they should want in their future. We are raising adults, not children.
Let's purpose in our hearts to be deliberate about being mothers that seek the beauty of Christ and to look at other mothers and women through His eyes. No more comparison, no more jealousy and hate. We're too busy for that sort of thing anyway, right?!Time is short. Be what your children DO need you to be.
Lord, I pray that we don't look too long at those mothers that we tend to be distracted by. Help us value our time with our children during every moment, and not scour those moments away. I pray that we can be the kind of mothers that our daughters desire to become and our sons are hopelessly attracted to in another woman. Most of all, may we remain secure in the fact that you can use us where we are. And if you make plans to move us from where we find ourselves so comfortable, I pray that you will equip us to make that move without fear. May we be heroes to our children. In Your Name, Amen.