About the Girl With the Sparkle(s) In Her Eye(s)

When we're young(er), we never dream of the hard times that could squeeze in between our dreams eventually becoming fulfilled. 

The girl in the picture is ten years in the past, and ten years more ignorant and unaware than she is now. 

Sometimes I daydream to a fault. Always have. Maybe I always will.  

Little did I know then, that almost every one of my "daydreamy dreams" would eventually come true.

I can't live in a fantasy world. Life doesn't always jump from one dream to the next, seemlessly. No, Sir. I can attest that as my ten year anniversary rapidly approaches, I look at this girl and I think I would simultaneously love to be (and not to be) her again.

I hardly look at myself in the mirror lately, as I don't like what I see. I may, unexpectedly, be the same size again as the girl in the photo, but my glow/my sparkle, isn't there anymore. 

A dreamer never pictures themselves as spiraling into a pit without remembering the lyrics to "A Dream Is A Wish (Your Heart Makes)". But sometimes, dreamers do fall. And we do forget the lyrics. We stop dreaming. We stop hoping. And we begin wishing that we could just simply dream unconsciously. Dreaming whilst asleep. Sometimes, the world is even more cruel and sleep never comes, except in snippets. 

image.jpg

My goal, this year, this month, even, is to get my sparkle back. To remember how much I have to live for and with and to. There's a dreamer still in me. There's a hope that's bigger than my despair, because of the hope I've been so graciously gifted. I am clinging to that hope. I'm going to eventually look at this picture and say "that's still me!...I know that girl!...that is me!". Right now, I look at her, and I recognize her, but we are not the same.  

In the meantime, I am pushing to stay close to His voice. And to remember that "When (I) pass through the waters, (You) are with me; And through the rivers, they will not overflow (me). When (I) walk through the fire, (I) will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn (me)." Isaiah 43:2