The When You Settle

Last night, my husband and I went to our local Salsarita's alone to get our favorite food: loaded nachos.  

 

After we told them to christen the mountains of deliciousness with extra guac, we sat down on the same side of the booth. 

 

"To have and to hold..." 

 

No, we aren't newlyweds. But we just love everything about being close to one another. It's better to share one side of the booth.  

 

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Because when you're that comfortable with someone, you don't feel the need to reach around in your brain trying to come up with anything to say.  

 

"...from this day forward..." 

 

My husband will tell you, he isn't eloquent with his words. He's a facts kinda communicator, as I imagine most men are. But, he looked me in the eyes last night and the words just flowed. I found myself writing them on my heart as he spoke. I didn't want to forget a word. 

 

"...in sickness and in health..." 

 

"I feel badly," he began. "You made it so easy for me. I had this beautiful, godly girl love me. When I finally matured enough to notice, I knew I could love you right back. And so I did. And you're more than I could've ever hoped to have searched for. But I never had to search because you were just always there. You love Jesus so much, you are good at so many things, you're just amazing and I am so grateful for you loving me in the first place. I love you so much, it's insane."

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I was beaming with pride that this man is "my person", my partner, my other half of myself. We've been loving each other for almost seventeen years now. After a year of overlapping trials, I know we've come out stronger and more able to choose love than ever before. 

 

"...for richer or poorer..." 

 

If you're looking toward marriage and "settling down", really evaluate how this person plays into your life.  

 

I fully believe God had our very best interests in mind when He encouraged us to stay away from marriage with "unbelievers".  How can a couple stay united and move towards Gods will if only one has made the sacrifice to walk with Christ? You may as well play a neverending game of tug-o-war. 

 

"...forsaking all others..." 

 

So what can you do to make sure you don't settle?  

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First of all, does the person encourage you to seek God first in all things? Does he or she move you towards Christ? If not, then you're settling. 

 

Does the person encourage, uplift, and speak kindly in love more than they discourage, begrudge, or belittle? If not, then you're settling.

 

Does the person only have eyes for you and see you as the most beautiful out of all others? If not, then you're settling.

 

Does the person enhance all of what makes you, you? (Your significant other should spend more time encouraging your strengths than trying to change your weaknesses) If not, then you're settling. 

 

Are you better off with them in your life (as a whole)? If not, then you're settling. 

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If you're already married, it's too late to ask yourself those questions. But it's not to late to purpose to resettle your relationship. To settle into a new foundation: 

            God as the center. 

            Your relationship with one another as               top priority among ALL other human relationships. 

             Moving forward in unity as a living example to the world that shines the love of Christ.  

 

"...until death us do part." 

 

So don't settle before you settle (down). And if you've already settled, dig a deeper foundation. One that withstands life's greatest storms, because those storms will come. Then, settle in with one another. Be weird and sit on the same side of the booth. And for goodness sakes, please get extra guacamole on your nachos. 

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