I won't have any original photos for this post.
In fact, I'm not even supposed to be writing right now.
It's 3:28AM on a Thursday. My day to write is Wednesday.
But I have to obey my heart and the One who resides there.
He wants me to share. And share it now.
This one was the best and the worst one yet.
I was standing in this room with all of you. We were all anxiously anticipating our turns. All of us confident, in varying degrees, in the handheld creations we all possessed.
I kept looking down at what I had decided to present my King. I looked up, all around me, at the busy hands and chattering mouths. It was certainly, an exciting day.
Some felt a bit uneasy about their creations, but wholly confident, nonetheless.
I was proud of my little music box I had made for Jesus. It wasn't fit for a king on the outside (my imperfect wood-carving skills were hiding under my attempts at covering it with a bit of gold glitter).
But, when it played its tune, it was etherial, almost other-worldly. And I hoped it would be a sweet offering to my King.
I watched as others walked into a rather small niche in the center of the room.
There was nothing there aside from Everything, actually. The Spirit of God was coming up and around, and filled the space like air in a balloon.
I watched as some of my friends went first.
Some held out just pieces of their project. Almost caught off guard, they explained that they didn't understand what they were supposed to do with this wood. "If only you'd give us more time," they said.
But God's spirit didn't delay in consuming them whole. And they disappeared with loud screams echoing their departure.
Others, they didn't have that same experience. Instead, their little wooden offerings were received with love and these saints were made anew.
When it was my turn, I heard the voices in my brain begin to attack.
"Who are you kidding, Alicia? This music box isn't what you planned. The exterior isn't fit for the God of Creation. You didn't do enough. You are the worst, etc etc."
The toxic thought life I've had my whole life had followed me to this moment. The moment that mattered more than all of the other moments: the moment I would give back what He gave to me.
Would He accept my gift? Would He be pleased with how I offered my life? Would my little music box be enough?
I told my thoughts to quiet down as I made my way slowly to the small space in the middle of the vast room.
I stood in God's presence and felt equally terrified and peaceful at the same time.
I held out the music box without saying a word. And the glory of God filled the space with a warmth and calm I've never before experienced up until that moment. I wanted to freeze time right then, but the next second came upon me way too quickly.
I felt a body behind mine, and knew.
I jolted around quickly, and just squeezed my whole body around my King.
"OH, JESUS!", I said with a smile on my face, that I'm not sure I'd ever expressed before.
He was tall. His body didn't budge when I nearly threw myself at Him. He was strong. Very strong. And He smelled like the sweetest garden. His embrace faintly reminded me of how my husband would hold me: strong, safe, secure, but at a level that I can't even describe to you right now.
"Thank You," He said to me. "The music box was beautiful, Alicia. You did so well. I love it, and I've waited so long to embrace you."
He had waited so long?! Jesus was excited to hug....ME??!!!
His smile spoke a million words and I found that there was really nothing I could say. He was saying it for us. We were just relieved to be in the same space.
And then it was over. I was jolted awake by my husband, who had also had a dream, of which he cannot recall.
My heart was racing. I felt so unreal again. Just like the other two times: not dreams, but something more. Real. Divine. With a purpose.
All of my other dreams have been a sort of hovering experience. Seeing everything from a distance; experiencing things from a movie screen of sorts.
But these three experiences, all about 2 years apart from one another, have been as close to reality as I am writing this now. The smells, the sights, the spaces and ability to feel and touch, were all 100% real.
I really was content to stay in that lifelike dream. After seeing Jesus, I really was disappointed and kind of angry to be awoken from such bliss.
But, this dream, this vision is so much more. It's a wake-up call for us all. What are we doing with our little pile of wood?! What are busy making Him?! Will it be enough?!
Your life is a living sacrifice, an offering, to the God of All. Are you certain you will experience the embrace of Jesus, God Himself, someday?! Or will you bring your pile to be judged; scrambling around, asking for more time?!
I hope you'll experience what I just did. The embrace of the King of Love. The tearful, expectant welcome from the Man who died for us all. Perfect in His love, True in His judgements.
He is Truth. He is Love.
What will you offer Him?!