Life (Before the "Shake Up")

Draw a line with me. 

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Where would you put your line? 

 

We all have a line in our lives. A line that separates the life we lived before and after a "Shake Up" moment. 

 

A "Shake Up" moment is that moment in your history where time tends to slow down and speed up all at once. It's a moment that changes everything. A moment that we either relish in or recoil from. 

 

Most "Shake Up" moments aren't positive.  

 

I could probably name some of these defining moments in those who are closest to me.  

 

For my husband, his "Shake Up" moment was collapsing twice in a period of nine months, without warning, in 2014/2015. 

 

I can guess my parents moments quite accurately. They've had more than one each.  

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For me, there's life before anxiety/panic and life after. 

 

I won't lie to you, I still find myself trying to pull myself back to that "Shake Up" moment with a giant eraser. My attempts to remove it from my life are futile, at best. It's just there. This big red, fat reminder that I used to be "x,y,z" and now I can't even sit comfortably at a restaurant for twenty minutes without nearly jumping out of my skin.  

 

Where do you find yourself right now? If your "Shake Up" moment was positive, well, I guess you don't think much about going back. Instead, you're rapidly running thru life towards the next "Shake Up" moment. Next time, life may not be so friendly. 

 

If you're like me, you may find that you have a heightened sensitivity to what life was before the "Shake Up". Tangible reminders of life before are hard to take in. Photos, videos, trinkets, and mental treasures seem like they were from another life, another galaxy, even. 

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But do we really, deep down, want to go back?!

 

Maybe.  

 

Maybe so.  

 

And maybe not.  

 

But we do.  As long as we could take the beauty we've acquired on this side of the "Shake Up" with us.

 

I don't know. I wish I really knew what I really wanted.  

 

I want the past to be the present, with the current present to stay present. I want them blended like a smoothie. With extra mango. 

 

Its hard. It's hard to not let the "Shake Up" moments define us. Because, they certainly leave their mark on our lives.

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How do you deal with your "Shake Up" moment(s)? Do you find it hard to keep moving forward? Do you look back too often and long for what used to be? Share with me below!