Journey

Embracing the Gift of Rejection

Play it safe.

 

That's the way I would approach life before I opened myself up to constant rejection. 

 

Sometimes, well, a lot of times, just the fear of being rejected can keep us from moving forward. 

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It just so happens that three of the biggest parts of my life are full of rejection and little dashes of acceptance sprinkled here and there. 

 

The thing is, we can't make people accept what we have to offer. 

 

The whole "bringing a horse to water..." creed has never meant more to me, than it does now. I get it...

 

From sharing the Gospel, to showing others a more natural way to approach healthcare, and to encouraging others to give my writing a chance, there's this pattern that follows the sharing of those things that is hard to accept. 

 

"You're project is not what we're looking for..." 

 

"I know I'm going to hell, and I'm okay with that..." 

 

"Thanks, but no thanks..." 

 

"Maybe, next time..." 

 

I could go on and on.  

 

I'll be honest with you: my heart stings each time, sometimes I cry, sometimes I get angry, but every time I think, "If you would just give me a chance."

 

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Embracing rejection is not something that any of us are good at. It's certainly not something that we expect or we get used to.  

 

I consider all of the ones who have really made a difference. Those brave ones that went thru years and years of hearing "Not now...but thanks..." . 

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Over and over and over again.  

 

J.K.Rowling. (The manuscript for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was rejected by 12 different publishers before being published). 

Oprah Winfrey. (She was told she should perhaps find another career entirely after being told to stop meshing her emotions through her news reporting). 

Albert Einstein. (Was told he would amount to nothing because he couldn't speak or read until later in childhood). 

Thomas Edison.  (His inventions failed thousands of times before he got it right.) 

Walt Disney.  (Fired because he "lacked imagination"). 

Emily Dickinson. (Less than a dozen of her poems were published while she was alive. They only saw the value of her work posthumously).  

 

I could go on. 

 

Maybe rejection will never leave us smiling. Maybe we won't ever "get over it" every time it comes our way.  

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I believe the way to truly embrace rejection is by understanding that it's just part of the journey.  

 

You may feel that a piece of you chips away with every back turned. But, in reality, the chipping just reminds you that this life is worth living and feeling for. 

 

We can choose to leave the pieces where they fell, or we can pick them up, and make a beautiful mosaic.  

Maybe our lives are a little like lattes. Swirls of bitter and sweet. Creating a masterpiece of colors and tastes for others to enjoy.  

Maybe our lives are a little like lattes. Swirls of bitter and sweet. Creating a masterpiece of colors and tastes for others to enjoy.  

 

So we just keep sharing anyway. Because the next share could be the next "Yes". If it's important enough to you, you'll keep attempting. Driven purely by the passions within. The passion to get people to finally understand.  

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Because someday, they just might. As long as you keep embracing rejection along the way. 

 

love, Alicia  

 

 

 

 

 

If I Can Be So Honest...

This morning, I sobbed.

 

As I watched my husband drive slowly down the driveway, I just sat in my own puddle.  

 

It didn't matter that I had my favorite latte patiently waiting for first sip. It didn't matter that it's Friday, or that I finally had a night where I didn't cough the entire time.  

 

After my uncontrolled emotions decided they'd had enough of a tantrum, I got up. 

 

Normally, I wouldn't have gotten up. I would've remained in my depression. But that, I've noticed, hasn't served me very well.  

 

So, I sent the kiddos outside to "beat the heat" and I turned on Christina Aguilera (Old Christina, to clarify). I just got busy. 

 

I've been sick this week. And I've been trying to work out for the past 2-3 weeks almost everyday. That's unheard of for me. 

 

In fact, one year ago today, I was a blob.  

 

A skinny blob, but a blob no less. I spent most of every single day in my husbands brown chair. I had no energy. I couldn't eat enough. I lost weight by breathing. 

 

I was at rock bottom. I literally longed to die. I would daydream about it. Yet, it terrified me all the same. If it wasn't for my best friend driving over 20 minutes to my house every day (for the record, I never asked her to, that's just how she is) and my other best friend loaning me her 15 year old on Wednesdays, I think my children would've had to raise themselves. It was THAT BAD. 

 

I quickly developed this mentality that I don't deserve happiness. That I was to become a martyr to Motherhood. To life. I also believed that Christ desired me to stay in the valley with no hope of gaining the strength to climb back out.  

 

I thought He wanted me to stay in the belly of the whale. And it's been super hard to break free from that lie the enemy planted in my heart.  

 

In fact, up until a couple of weeks ago, I wholeheartedly believed that I didn't deserve much of anything good. That the goodness in my life had passed. I believed that I would just have to buckle up and stay on this motherhood ride until it ends eventually.  

 

I thought "if I act happy, then people won't know how badly I'm hurting. Plus, it'll be fake and I'm not fake."  

 

Its affected everything. My relationships. My book writing. My businesses that I long to be successful at. Everything.  

 

I don't think my choice to exercise was what sparked a little change in me. I think it was the fact that I realized that if I want to change; If I want to see a different something in my life full of somethings, then I have to do it. I do. 

 

Hating oneself is a deadly poison. And, I can't quite tell you why I hated myself so very much. But I think it was because I was my own worst enemy.  

 

Maybe you're in the thick of that right now, yourself. Maybe you feel like I did, and sometimes still do, that everyone else deserves happiness except for you.  

 

Maybe you believe a thousand and one lies like I did and find myself still doing.  

 

Its a hard process, no doubt. I have a long way to go, myself. But, first of all, if you have Christ, greater is He. And if you have a will to change, that's all you need.  

 

After that, make small opposite choices to what you've been doing.  

 

Im not an expert on this subject. By far, I'm not. I just know what I've learned. And I always want to share it with you. Vulnerability is strength. Don't forget that.  

 

And strength is only one choice away.  

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Greatly Rejoice

"In this you GREATLY rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials..." - 1 Peter 1:6 NKJ 

"When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of His victory.." - 1 Peter 1:7 MSG

I'm going to be 30 years old this year. It seems old to me, and I have a lot to learn about this crazy life I'm living still, but my eyes have been opened the past two days to a certain truth. Yesterday at church the message was about 1 Peter 1. Peter is chatting with the church and telling them, "yeah, I know you're going through a tough time right now, but listen you need to GREATLY rejoice." Not just rejoice, but greatly rejoice! 

Now if you were to go up to someone that was struggling with something, it would sound a bit insensitive to say "stop complaining, stop being sad... just rejoice". I don't know about you, but when you lose hope, when you're questioning God and asking WHY?! Why did he have to die? Why do I feel like a failure? Why have you forgotten about me? Why can't I find a job!? Why do the health issues never stop?!!!

I don't want to rejoice, let alone greatly rejoice. No way. 

We might never find out the reasons to our questions here on this earth, but I can tell you that if Jesus is your Savior you have hope. Because we serve a Savior that isn't dead, we have a living hope. Jesus rising from the dead guarantees that God will honor all of His promises. Hope keeps us going in the darkest days of our lives. 

As humans, we compare ourselves to everyone else, and now with social media that's practically all we do all day long. Don't be fooled in thinking that no one else isn't struggling. Don't believe the lie that others have the perfect life and they don't have to go through hard times. If you're not going through one right now, if life is hunky dory, just get ready cause your day is coming. That's just a fact. People are struggling financially, marriages are falling apart, maybe you've made money an idol and have believed the lie that success = money. Nothing is further from the truth.

We aren't supposed to have the perfect life, I don't even think we are supposed to be comfortable here on earth. We don't deserve any of that to begin with, but we are promised that Jesus will never leave our side, that He'll provide for our every need. We are promised eternity. We are promised hope. 

I think that every season of life is worth reflecting on. What's the condition of your heart? Have you truly let it all go and just said "Jesus no matter what, I'll love you!" There's something powerful about speaking this out loud. God knows the condition of our hearts, but be willing to let it all go and scream out "Whatever happens let Your will be done." It's freeing, believe me. God wants to hear from you.

If you're in the trenches and about to give up... remember your hope is Alive. Our inheritance to come is "incorruptible and undefiled." One day, we'll get to see the face of the One that has been carrying us through this sin filled, earthly life. One day we'll get to fall at His actual feet and lift our eyes to His and say "Jesus you were worth it all, thank you, I love you." 

I don't write this, because I have mastered this particular promise from God. To rejoice greatly in all things... it's difficult. But my eyes have been opened to this promise (for the time being) and for that I am grateful. Maybe someone needed to read this, or maybe I needed to type it all out for when I'm in the middle of a struggle again I can be reminded of God's goodness.

I am called to live for eternity, for what is to come, and to GREATLY rejoice. 

Your hope is ALIVE, and He will always be.
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow" 

"thrown down, but not defeated
 I'm worn out, but not giving up. 
 I've hit ground, but even at rock bottom
 I'm just getting started, yeah I'm just getting started" 
     - Meredith Andrews "Deeper" 
 

 

love, Amber