plans

Nothing. And Everything.

Yesterday morning, my sister texted me and asked what my plans were for the day. I immediately thought and responded with "Nothing". But before I could hit send, I typed "And everything."

She laughed and said, "that's a good reply."

Most all of us know what's it's like to have a new baby and you kinda feel trapped at home for several weeks and months. Not because you necessarily have to be trapped, but more so because the daunting task of going anywhere around a newborn's very random "un-schedule" is almost never worth it. And, if you add in several more children to the mix, well, you get where I'm going with this...

So yesterday was another day of nothing... and everything.

IMG_3012.JPG helping a newborn poop is a part-time job without pay or benefits

IMG_3014.JPG but when the newborn poop train starts, it goes on a cross country trip of sorts

IMG_3016.JPG when cabinet locks fail you, the toddlers and their lollipops win.

IMG_3019.JPG then the sugared up princesses beg to go outside on one of the hottest days

IMG_3021.JPG this "get up" easily adds an extra 10 degrees to the situation outdoors

IMG_3022.JPG proactive dinner. Smoking ribs all day long.

IMG_3025.JPG "lather,rinse,repeat" copy and paste this scene all day long. Sitting down to nurse.

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IMG_3029.JPG playing with the full-bellied baby

IMG_3031.JPG dealing with preschool aged emotions is tough

IMG_3033.JPG equally as tough is cleaning up after this one

IMG_2970.JPG making sure these two don't end up in the ER is also a part-time full-time job with no pay and few benefits

Add in meal-making, school-teaching, laundry-folding, bath-giving, spill-cleaning, disaster-preventing, story-telling, and countless other tasks...I guess I shouldn't feel so unimportant for not having plans most days. Because everyday we do "nothing" gives way to a day we do "everything".

Love, Alicia

Why you {shouldn't} follow your heart/believe in yourself

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When God made me, He made me a dreamer. Sometimes, I would dream to a fault. Constantly feeling like an Alice trapped in my own Wonderland. Other times, I would make healthy plans and mentally paint on the vast canvas of what I thought my life should be. As a child, I would obsessively rewatch what most would consider the most magical, classic Disney movie ever made, Cinderella. I would identify with the way she dreamed, the way she cared, the way she knew there was something incredible in her future. I still love her even to this day and have an almost 3 year old daughter equally in love with the most famous princess in all literature.

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But living in Fantasyland isn't all it's cracked up to be because life is still swirling on around you, almost incessantly beating you over your head to quickly come back to reality. If stuck here, your Fantasyland will turn into the Land of "I can't get no satisfaction" and will be more horrifying than the Britney Spears remake of the original song.

If I'm not careful, I can let my mind wander and let my dreams carry me past reality and into a realm of selfishness. And if I followed my wretched heart during these moments, discontent and a sense of being unsettled creeps in.

And then that horrible word begins to jump into my every thought sentence: just.

"You're just a mom." "You just cooked, cleaned, and played referree and chauffeur all day." "You just aren't as ambitious, confident, and intelligent as she is."

I have lots of dreams, and some of you do too. Sometimes God gives us those dreams, some are attainable, and others need to be squashed. If I acted on every dream I have in the near to immediate future, I would be doing so at the expense of my family and at the command of my selfish heart.

Sometimes our dreams aren't meant to come true. Sometimes they are, but the present [time] doesn't line up with the dream. Don't feel unsettled and anxious to "get things going" faster when the dream isn't meant to come true right now.

Instead, give your dream back to God. Don't follow and chase and hunt down and end up killing your dream in the process. Give the desire, the hope, the timing of the dream back to God. Allow Him to give it back to you when the time is right.

And certainly don't follow your heart. Following ones heart in a literal and extreme fashion leads to destruction. God knows the human heart better than we do and loved reminding us in Scripture just how corrupt, black, and deceitful it really is. Following your heart makes life about yourself. It makes you focus on you..."what can I get out of life...out of someone else...out if this or that situation."

I know, as mothers, we can sometimes easily look around and feel inferior. Inferior because we may stay at home all day. Inferior because we may not dress, have money, or feel as beautiful as another woman who is clearly out in the world accomplishing things that matter.

If you're a mom, and you have big dreams like I do, be thankful for those dreams. Give them back to God. Don't attempt to mesh "bad timing" for a "quick result" in hopes of making your own dream come true. Remain patient. Allow God to use you where you are now and allow Him to prepare you for the process of receiving that dream. And trust His heart, not your own, and be satisfied...even if He crushes your own dream. God always always always knows what's best for us. Trust Him especially in those "dreamy"/"follow your heart" moments you may have.

Follow His heart and live happily ever after.

Love, Alicia